No. 8 || Feelin' Kinda Corny
Cornfessions of a shopaholic, NOT capri-corn season, Jimmy cracked corn but I don't care, feet corns (no jk it's not THAT kind of NL), dazed & cornfused, kernels of truth, cornsumption. . . It's CORN!
Dear Readers & Cake Eaters,
First things first, there are now over a thousand of you subscribed to this humble lil’ (but far from short) newsletter that I whipped up only 3 months ago. All I can say is THANK YOU and WELCOME to all you newcomers. Your support never ceases to shock and delight me and I want you to know that there are like a million (ok maybe 3 but still) other projects I’m currently working on in line with The Cakewalk that I can’t freakin’ wait to share with you!
I doubt anyone’s noticed but I’m a bit behind on publishing as my summer arrival in SF has given me plenty of distractions - I hosted my first ever ‘s meetup, lots of catching up to do w/family & friends, am also very busy eating all of the things and of course, I’m also making cakes - but never fear, this issue is as ripe with weird facts, culture, recs, shoppable items, etc. as its ever been.
For the newbies - I’ve set up this newsletter in a menu format so while it’s long, the idea is that you can piecemeal it and hop from section to section with ease. Every issue has an overarching theme that I honor as best as I can - sometimes it’s to a tee, other times I take liberties. But one thing you can count on is that if it’s food related and noteworthy, I’m going to talk about it.
Now in case you totally missed it, this issue, we’re talking C O R N!
So without further ado, let’s dig in and I hope you have a corntastic day!
xx
***Audio version coming soon but separately this time! So sorry I didn’t manage to get it done in time. ***
THE CAKEWALK - WEEKLY SPECIALS MENU
Thursday, June 6th, 2024
Appetizers
It’s not a want, it’s a KNEAD. If you’ve ever done a lap around an American mall, you know the unmistakable scent of the Auntie Anne’s pretzel stand. In fact, I can smell it right now as I write this. Well, if you’re anything like me, then you’ve probably wished on multiple occasions for a fragrance that would make you smell like your favorite, nostalgic (American) mall treat (although admittedly I’ve mostly thought this about Cinnabon). Well folks, look no further because Auntie Anne’s is “Introducing Knead: Eau De Pretzel. The tantalizing scent that should come with a warning that you will smell good enough to eat. A perfume with the warm, buttery and slightly sweet scent of hot and handmade pretzels just for you.” With this release, I can’t help but think about the waffle cone scent released by Salt & Straw x Imaginary Authors back in 2020. Me thinks that we are about to enter a very food-centric era in the fragrance industry if we’re not already in it and while I can understand why it’s not for everyone, lemme just say, I am totally here for it. Maybe not so much that KFC BBQ Perfume though. As reported by PR Newswire, “To celebrate the launch of Knead, the brand is opening New York's first Pretzel Parfumerie on August 13 at 433 Broadway in Soho, New York. Open from 12:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.” For those of us that unfortunately can’t make it, it will be available online HERE on Aug. 14th.
Lonely Ghost x Wendy’s dropped a “bootleg” capsule collection on July 31st with the hopes that we, the audience will first mistake it as the brand having stolen the Wendy’s logo (bootleg style) when in reality it’s an official collaboration. So the intention for it was to be sorta meta but in reality it’s not? Big fan of their campaign photos though - anyone know who the photog was? You can cop or not HERE.
Iconic *BRAZILIAN jelly shoe brand (apologies for making the mistake of calling it a French brand previously, I don’t know where my mind was!), Melissa has had a Paris pop-up going in the Marais with the Olympics in mind since July 22nd. This colorful popup titled, “Melissa Frizzante” highlights their iconic sandal model, “Possession” (the original jelly sandal) in three new colors - red, pink, and violet while playing with a theme of bubbles, hence the “frizzante”. In staying true to said theme, the brand came up with a different soda flavor for each of the 3 new color ways. The flavors are: “Don’t Worry be Berry”, “Jelly Spritz”, and “Watermelon Haze”. I hate to burst your bubble but the popup only runs through Aug. 22nd so tick tock.
“The Hottest Wedding Accessory of the Summer is Apparently a Fireball Garter Belt” writes Rudy Sanchez for The Dieline. I’ll just leave this little ditty here for you. Is this fact or a fictional marketing push from Fireball? Who knows. . . I sure don’t since I didn’t pay to read the rest of this article, lolz.
The #BootPursuit is on in Australia, with 2,000 pairs of “Nuggies” aka McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets inspired version of the Ugg Boot. I guess here in the US we have stuff like the Travis Scott Happy Meal or the Cardi B x Offset meal but where is the amazing McD’s merch that we as capitalistic consumerist Americans so desperately deserve and need? Like . . . enough with the McDonald’s x Monopoly business already, let’s see some real collab action. Meanwhile, places like Finland be McCollaborating with brands like VAIN to have the hardest drips I’ve ever seen. McDonald’s US, time to super size your creative strategy and make this American McProud. Also call me when you do. Plz.
ICYMI, Chipotle x Wonderskin (TikTok famous lip stain) teamed up to create a “burrito-proof” “Lipotle” lip stain that was released on July 30th (just a day before National Avocado Day which was July 31st). “Inspired by everyone’s favorite Chipotle add-on, guacamole, Lipotle’s lip stain masque applies like a lip gloss and has its own green, foil-inspired look.” Has the beauty industry hit guac-bottom or are we at peak innovation and perhaps it only gets better from here? After the masque sets for about 30-60 seconds, you spray it with the activator “to seal the pigments for up to 10 hours — that’s up to three meals or more. Following the activator, the verdant avocado-hued masque is easily wiped off, revealing a nude rose Lipotle color, a more natural beauty result primed for the Chipotle ordering line.” While the peel off guacamole-inspired foil part looks like something Ariana Grande & Cynthia Erivo would be promoting on their Wicked press tour, I’m kind of into it, even though that’s not the color you’re paying for. The kit sells for $29 and is surprisingly (or maybe not so much) still available here in case you wanted to try.
Starbucks’ famed PSL might be coming back on the menu sometime this month but pumpkin spice lovers can rejoice because we now have a Slurpee in our precious seasonal P-Spice selection to look forward to. . . ? Those who are confident in being more pumpkin’d than punk’d can try their luck with this new item at the following 7-Eleven locations starting now while supplies last:
3200 HACKBERRY RD, Irving, Texas
5530 VALLEY BLVD, Los Angeles, Calif.
2030 A WEST 8TH STREET, Los Angeles, Calif.
82 GREENWICH ST, New York, New York
90 N XENIA DR, Enon, Ohio
For another ICYMI, the UK’s largest digital bank, Monzo teamed up with with Greggs a couple of weeks ago in Newcastle upon Tyne to unveil an “ATM(mmm)” that dispenses sausage rolls lolz. Because nothing goes better with a good bankroll than a good . . . sausage roll? I mean. . .
“ChainFest, The Celeb-Backed Gourmet Fast Food Fest, Is Coming To New York City”! In case you’re unfamiliar, ChainFest got its start in LA and was founded “by actor and writer B.J. Novak and Michelin - starred chef Tim Hollingsworth, [and] ChainFEST serves up gourmet renditions of classic American fast food dishes” all while partnering up with and celebrating all of the restaurant chains that we know and love such as the likes of Panda Express, KFC, Pizza Hut, Chili’s, Red Robin, and more. For this NY edition, ChainFest has partnered up with Chrissy Teigan and is planning on serving over 10,000 guests. The event is scheduled for Saturday, September 21st and just a fun note, all of the food is included in the price of admission. The Pre-Sale starts Friday, August 9th @ 10am EST and you can sign up for your access code HERE. Believe me, tix WILL sell out fast. I wish I could make it. If any of you plan on going, I expect some photos and a full report!
And how about one more for the road?! Brooklyn based art collective, MSCHF strikes again with their now sold out “MSCHF Scout Cookies”. If you’re unfamiliar, their generally absurd and outlandish products & projects tend to be viral although controversial and they often tend to play around with concepts around capitalism, among others. Think their viral “Big Fruit Loop”, their “Eat the Rich Popsicles”, or their “Ketchup or Makeup” drop just to name a few. For this cookie drop, there were only ever 3 units available. But the catch, is that you are buying a “wholesale quantity” that’s “intended for resale”. Buy purchasing 1 unit, the buyer receives 528 cookie boxes with an even number of each flavor, 4 full MSCHF scout uniforms (ranging from sizes S-XL), and a scout’s sales guide. Their website literally says “You will be paying just over $3 per box of cookies. As long as you sell them for more than that, you can turn a tidy profit here. Sell to your friends, sell online, offer singles and bulk deals, but remember: Close. The. Deal.” It is unknown to me how much each of these units actually sold for but based off this information, it did not go for less than $1500. Love them or hate them, I find their antics rather clever and certainly amusing and at the end of the day, they know how to close the deal. I’d recommend taking a skim through their page for these cookies when you have a minute because they definitely cleverly thought things through (as they do for any of their products).
Main Course
In some hot off the press corn byproduct related news, “Flamin' Hot Cheetos 'inventor' sues Frito-Lay alleging 'smear campaign'". (Ok maybe this news is almost 2 weeks old, but relevant all the same.) Well this is certainly a seemingly sudden turn of events although not really because people have been disputing Richard Montañez’s claims of being the inventor for some time now.
The movie Flamin’ Hot (previously mentioned in my Some Like It Hot issue) directed by Eva Longoria about Montañez and the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos’ origin story only just came out last year (2023) but it would appear that the flames fueled by 2021 have not yet subsided.
You can read the controversial piece by the LA Times that supposedly sparked all of this HERE. Any thoughts? Spicy or other? Really curious as to how this is gonna play out.
Have you heard about fridgescaping??. . .(and before you @ me about this not being corn related, there IS a small corn cob in the bottom middle of the photo lolz!)
Alright so fridgescaping is “the art of decorating a fridge’s interior” and while it’s been picking up steam as of late thanks to TikTok (as most trends do these days), let us not forget the original fridgefluencer, Yolanda Hadid whose fridge even has its own IG account (not worth your time), lolz. The thing is, while Yolanda’s fridge is not something achievable for most people mainly because we’re not all filthy rich, it still looks like a “normal fridge” in that you’re only getting straight up food & drink in there (minus various containers in which to put them, etc.). To be fair, fridgescaping is not a new concept as organizing your food in the place where you store it in an aesthetically pleasing manner that suits your personal needs is a no-brainer. But today’s interpretation of fridgescaping is a little different as it now includes more knick knacks and personality (if you will) and honestly, resembles more of your grandma’s fireplace mantle rather than an actual fridge. People are going as far as including twinkle fairy lights and framed photos of pets or loved ones.
In the NYT’s recent article about fridgescaping that you can read here, several people they spoke with talked about the importance of something being aesthetically pleasing as well as the “dopamine hit” associated with the “visual satisfaction”.
Regarding the framed photos, a professional organizer they spoke with by the name of Nonnahs Driskill said, “If something really makes you happy, it doesn’t need to be on public display”. As she often times “puts pictures for her clients in surprising places like closets or medicine cabinets”.
Others in the article spoke about an additional benefit of fridgescaping being “reduction of food waste” lolz. The person behind the above two images, lifestyle blogger, Lynzi Judish says, “Because I love how the refrigerator looks so much, it makes me want to make sure I use everything in it”. I get the sentiment, I really do. But it sounds to me like a round about way of “reducing food waste”. Like do you really need to be visually tricked into eating what you’ve bought and put inside your own fridge? I mean look, I get the quirkiness of it. I get the “art” of it. I get the personal aspect of it. I mean it’s your fridge, do whatever the hell you want and what makes you happy. But I’m not convinced and personally, I HATE the clutter. I don’t want to feel like opening my fridge is going to transport me to the nearest thrift shop. This is coming from someone who is a maximalist in all aspects of the term and whose apartment resembles a cabinet of curiosities. I want to see exactly what and where my food is when I look for it. For me personally, the aesthetics can wait for the plating, I need the fridge to just do it’s job and keep my food from spoiling. But you know what, go off fridgescaping queens! I applaud the passion and I do get how nice it is when you finally find an outlet for your creative quirks (hellooooo subscribers! lolz).
À La Carte
Kicking things off here with everyone’s favorite corn stool by Third Drawer Down - I’ve got one, Emma Chamberlain’s got one (actually she’s got like 3). . . do you really need any more convincing? It’s sold out in most places but you can buy it directly with the brand HERE so don’t sleep on it! And if the stool is too much of a commitment. Opt for their corn planter HERE.
Vintage Fritos Sweater - nothin’ like the original corn chip in sweater version. It’s so good like I think I dreamt about it. . .
Vintage Cracker Jack Sweater - ALSO so good?! Who needs these more, me or you?
The practical use/storage options for this Vintage Cracker Jack Tin Lunchbox are endless and honestly, why not use it as a purse for a night out on the town?
Anya Hindmarch Corn Flakes Mini Raffia Tote - how precious is this?! On sale too! Move quick though, it’s been selling out everywhere all season!
Corn Coin Purse - my friend got me one for Christmas and it’s one of my most prized objects
Because what’s a corn themed issue without a couple of popcorn shirts, right?!
Who doesn’t need a Vintage Corn Sweater Chain/Dress Clip? (Left)
Vintage Mother of Pearl, Large Corn Hair Clip - the question really, is why you don’t already have one? (Right)
I waver every other day between purchasing this Vintage Veggie Vest ft. Corn . . . please put me out of my misery.
PSA - realistic food candles are here to stay so why not add this Corn Cob Beeswax Candle to your collection?
Corn Buttons - do I want these to replace all my buttons now? Yes.
All-Yellow Corn Buttons - because we like options.
Vintage Corn on the Cob Holders exist aplenty but I’ve yet to see any as cute as these. The melted butter detail but also the ADDITIONAL mini corn cob as the tip?!? I’m weak.
Also, fun fact, I found out that “Corn-holding devices were first patented in 1897, and Food & Wine has a fun and informative article about them, The Surprising History of the Corn Cob Holder, that you can read here” via
‘s fun substack, Time Travel Kitchen.
I don’t know for the life of me what one does with or puts inside these Vintage Limoges (Corn) Trinket Box(es) but I like them. I’m thinking maybe a singular Q tip when you’re on the go? Or maybe a handy dandy mascara wand? Perhaps a single cocktail pick for cocktail emergencies?
You don’t ACTUALLY even like corn unless you own this Crochet Corn Balaclava.
(Not Just) Desserts
(roundups, reviews, recommendations, opinions, your “just desserts” for subscribing I suppose)
DRANKz - Are you familiar with Nixta - Licor De Elote? Well you should be. Ever since I discovered it at The Mezcaleria at KOL in London (where they also use the empty bottles as water carafes), I’ve been absolutely obsessed. “Nixta Licor de Elote is a Mexican corn liqueur made from a base of tender, ancestral cacahuazintle (kaka • wha • SINT • lay) maize, grown in the high valleys and foothills of the Nevado de Toluca volcano” and at 30% alc. by vol., you can def have some fun with it. There are so many fun cocktails to be made with this but quite honestly, I love just sipping it over ice. My palate isn’t yet equipped to sip on something like straight whiskey but this has a lovely sweetness that makes it so easy to drink. (Wow I totally sound like this was a paid sponsorship but I swear it’s not. I def wouldn’t say no to some gifted Nixta tho lol.)
PLACEz - The Cornhenge in Dublin, Ohio - “Commissioned by the Dublin Arts Council and completed in 1994, Field of Corn (with Osage Oranges Trees) consists of 109 six-foot, white ears of concrete corn”. As with many art installations, it was first met with a lot of disdain as locals saw it as an ironic joke - “tax dollars spent to honor food farmers ending up creating inedible food.” But with time, it started to grow on people and now locals go as far as having their weddings there. I think it’s hilarious and I love that it exists. So there. (But I get why taxpayers were angry.)
EVENTz - Illinois’ Corn Fest aka the “Lollapalooza of Corn” - Aug 23rd-25th - it honestly looks like any other food festival to me but if I was in the neighborhood, I wouldn’t not go. . . (no noteworthy images to include)
FILMz - Children of the Corn - This classic Stephen King horror flick debuted in 1984 and has since seen countless sequels and reboots. We’re currently looking at 11 films in this series in total. . .If you’re on a corn kick after reading this newsletter and looking to do a horror binge all at the same time, well look no further than the Children of the Corn series, my friends. Seeing as I’ve yet to watch this classic myself, I’ll spare you from a copy and paste review. And I’ll be honest, I mostly just needed an excuse to use this fantastical movie still (above).
DESSERTz - And as a quick nod to this newsletter’s theme, I couldn’t NOT bring up NYC pastry boutique, Lysée’s viral corn cake that I’ve seen so many times on social media. While I haven’t yet made it there myself, I’ve heard nothing but great things and I will surely make it there the next time I’m in NY. My buddy
aka vouches for it! There really aren’t enough corn desserts out there y’all and corn is so highly underrated as a dessert. Holler with your thoughts if you’ve already been and tried it!
Digestif
Cats eating corn - it’s totally a thing. Sometimes I’ll eat one end of the cob and my cat will come up and gnaw on the other end at the same time, lolz. TMI maybe.
I’m telling you, I need this chic wide-brimmed corn hat to exist IRL. . . maybe that Xandiloquence Bizarre the Ab3rd guy from my pickle issue can make me one!
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Have you ever seen corn silks be made into cutesy cottage core type hairdos? Well now you have. I love the internet.
Corn-Shaped Toilet - we’ve all seen some wacky AI renderings of homes, furniture, decor, etc. and the ridiculousness just never ceases to amaze me although admittedly, I dream about some of them being a real thing that I can purchase every once in a while. This article/website seems to cover all things AI but with how long and strangely precise the article is, I can’t help but wonder if the entire site is the work of AI itself. In short, it’s so serious that it’s SO UNSERIOUS and I realllly can’t tell if it’s for shits and giggles (pun intended) or if someone just decided to go to very great lengths to explain everything from why you should choose a corn shaped toilet to it’s “ergodynamic design” to “tips for installing” to “more creative ideas to complement your corn-shaped toilet” like “lighting” and “whimsical wall art” and way too much more lolz. I swear this article is so wild, just click and skim through for yourself.
New cake-making goals have just been unlocked
I feel like there’s not a single food item I haven’t seen in nail form yet. . .
And lastly, unless you literally live under a rock, your mind has already previously been plagued by this song. Well, I’m here to tell you that it will NEVER get old. And if somehow you’re discovering it for the first time, you’re welcome.
FIN. 🌽
My next issue is already cooking but in the meantime, please don’t hesitate to share this page with anyone you think might like this sort of content. After all, my newsletter can only feed its subscribers if they’re hungry. :)
And lastly, your feedback also means the world! Please feel free to comment below, or email me at thecakewalk@substack.com. xoxo
I can’t even believe how much cool shit you find!
it's corn and jimmy crack corn vying for space in brain right now!!
also low-key is that how i'm supposed to be storing my celery? honestly if my fridge looked nice i'd be less likely to wanna eat the stuff in it and preserver the fridge-scape