No.5 || Some Like it Hot!
Hot takes, hot messes, & hot diggety dog we've ALSO got our very first guest collaborator, Nora of Thanks It's From Ebay!
Dear Readers & Cake Eaters,
I can’t tell you how much fun the last issue was and it seems like a lot of you felt the same way. All I can say is thank you and let’s keep it going!
Things are just starting to heat up and I’m gonna make sure we keep stoking the fire. And on THAT note, welcome to Issue No. 5’s theme - Hot & Spicy! Think salsa, think szechuan, think that Soho House cocktail that we find ourselves sipping on sooner or later regardless of how good it is, think hot & sweaty bodies sticking against each other in large crowds, think the number that you should NOT be hitting up at 3am, think that outfit that you haven’t mustered the courage to wear out yet, think Jennifer Lawrence - “what do you mean?”.
But just when you were starting to think things couldn’t get any hotter I would like to announce that this issue’s “À La Carte” section was guest curated by the one and only aka
. If you’re unfamiliar with ’s substack and you’re an intrusive thought inspired shopper like I am, hence my à la carte section in the first place, then you’re in good hands with her and you should most definitely subscribe.Now our theme as per usual— is rather open to interpretation and good news for my spice intolerant friends, there will certainly be something of interest for you here even if you’re not into chugging internal organ destroying hot sauces. So ready or not, let’s dig in!
Also, for your entertainment, here is a blurry pic of the custom-made Flamin’ Hot Cheetos I ordered as party favors for my 30th birthday modeled by
. Yes, that is me on the bag. Yes, there were real hot cheetos inside.
THE CAKEWALK - WEEKLY SPECIALS MENU
Friday, June 21st, 2024 ~ Happy Summer Solstice ~
*HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS* - [FASHION WEEK EDITION]
(Small bite-sized news from fashion week//runway related)
JW Anderson Cake bag from MFW as spotted by Highsnobiety
Highsnobiety’s “Not In Paris” popup launched this week for Men’s PFW (moved up earlier to accommodate the Olympics) and will be open until June 23rd @ Galerie Italienne in the heart of Paris. You can find collabs with Café de Flore, Le Monde, Lacoste, Dyptique, & more. To celebrate the occasion, they’ve tasked Pierce Abernathy with interviewing Cedric Grolet - read the interview HERE. And in case you’re dying to buy anything from the collection online, VOILÀ.
Acne Studios SS25 Popcorn Necklace as seen by
at the showroom re-see’s (thanks Anna!)
And bonus info - after some sleuthing, I’ve found out that the baguette & celery clutches as seen on Moschino’s AW24 runway will be available at select boutiques between July 1st - Sept 23rd for the pocket change price of:
3700 EUR for the Celery Clutch
995 EUR for the Baguette Clutch
Appetizers
I don’t know what is and isn’t a drill anymore lolz. Heinz and KitKat have each officially posted this and last I saw, apparently it was a very real concept being whipped up in the KitKat “creative lab kitchens”. Whether or not we will actually see these hit stores soon is currently a mystery but time will tell. Or perhaps it will be one of those limited giveaway prizes. If it’s our attention their wanting, they’re certainly getting it.
Sabrina Carpenter’s been working late cause she’s a singer alright. Fans can now actually get a taste of her espresso . . . in ice cream form lolz. Carpenter and Van Leeuwen have teamed up to make an even bigger summer splash piggy backing off the success off her hit song. While it’s not yet confirmed when and where you’ll be able to find the sure to be hit ice cream, “according to Sabrina herself, it's set to hit stores and scoop shops starting June 28.” If all the super fans and hypebeasts leave any for the rest of us, I’ll happily try it. But if not, I’m happy knowing that my all time favorite Van Leeuwen collab will forever be the one with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese back in 2021. Buttery is the best way to describe it and did I proudly eat it with a warmed up McDonald’s apple pie? I ‘sho did!
This is your last weekend to check out Grillo’s Pickles’ Pickle Paradise in NYC - find a plushie wall, artist collaborations, food (obvi), and also a pickle you can ride! Also, try saying that 5x fast.
Dominique Ansel, creator of viral hybrid pastry the Cronut, receives the Pastry Game Changer Award at the LA LISTE Pastry Special Awards 2024 - not sure if La Liste is any different from the World’s 50 Best in terms of making predictable choices but good for Ansel, I like that guy! You can see the full list of winners HERE.
“A Louisiana-based Chick-fil-A is under fire for announcing a “summer camp” program that teaches children “how to be a Chick-fil-A worker” for $35 a session.” But don’t worry! Apparently perks include a kid’s meal, t-shirt, name tag, and snack - what a STEAL! Ages range from 5-12 and it’s apparently already sold out. So what do you think? Would you send your kids to a children’s labor, I MEAN summer camp for $35?
LVMH announces the acquisition of one of Paris’ most legendary restaurants, Chez L’Ami Louis. Food is future, what else can I say?
In other Paris news, the city opened its first-ever Musée du Fromage (cheese museum) on June 13th, 2024 - this might be the most underwhelming news ever because I’m actually more surprised they didn’t ALREADY have one?! I admit I’m still pretty curious about what they have to offer though. FYI you can also privatize it so definitely think Musée du Fromage of Paris for your next wedding, birthday, bachelor/bachelorette party, etc. (You know I’m not kidding.)
But wait a minute, as I’m writing this, I’ve just come across news that there is apparently a “Palais du Fromage” or, Palace of Cheese in the works slated to open in Paris next year, spearheaded by cheese-fluencer/enthusiast, Fabrice Gepner aka @lecheesegeek. Dubbing itself as “the place to brie”, as of right now there is currently a crowdfunding under way to help make this (IG)foodie wet dream a reality. “On the agenda: a 1500 m² space offering an immersive, multi-sensory tasting experience. More than just a place to discover, it's a place to live, and one that promises to become the benchmark for all cheese lovers.” This project will require an investment of 7 million euros so if you want to help make a dent in their crowdfunding campaign, you can do so HERE - I’m sure they’ll be GRATE-ful lolz.
And to finish off this section, 4-Pound Spam Musubi anyone??
Main Course
“The Gloriously Filthy Allure of Horny Groceries” by Margaret Rhodes for Grubstreet is probably one of my favorite reads of 2021. Not to mention the images are by one of my favorite (food) photographers, Ellen Mary Cronin, hiii Ellen! But the thing is, the article is as relevant now as it was then. Here’s a quick excerpt to give you an idea:
“This isn’t a food fetish; it’s horny grocery shopping, which isn’t shopping while horny, necessarily, but is rather a version of shopping in which the mere consideration of groceries becomes its own erotic act.”
Not too long ago, my hands-down favorite newsletter,
similarly dedicated a post to the subject called “Horny, Horny Produce”. (Unfortunately this one’s for her paid subscribers only but trust me, it’s worth it.) Andrea Hernández of talks about food orgasms (a very real thing with so many layers to unpack), food porn leading into ultimately product porn, “curation as edging”, and to top it all off, she’s created a “Horny Produce” playlist that you can put on in the background while reading (or really any other time you please). And what would be a discussion about horny groceries if Alimentari Flaneûr wasn’t mentioned (by both articles btw). By the off chance that you’re unfamiliar with Daniel Emilio Soares aka founder of Alimentari Flaneur, well, get acquainted because if you’re into sexy food and groceries as well as la dolce vita, he’s your guy. I’ll let you do your homework and check out everything I’ve mentioned above on your own but before we move on, you might be interested to know that Soares is debuting his Villa Flaneûr project this summer:“For one week, from July 27-August 3” I will be hosting our guests alongside my cugino @iamvincenzopaparella of @mokambogelateria at a centuries old villa in the Pugliese countryside.
What’s not to like? For more information on that, you can go HERE.
Here is a probably insanely inaccurate depiction of hot sauce preferences in the US of A according to Instacart and their findings based off of consumer purchases in 2023. While it may be accurate based off of their consumers, it’s hardly indicative of the population as a whole. For starters, how is Sriracha the top pic of IOWA?! And only Iowa at that lolz. So WHY you ask, did I waste your time by putting this chart here in the first place. Well, I like the visual lol. And I was hoping to learn about a new hot sauce or two, which I also did. I think overall this chart is more maddening than it is enlightening but either way I’d LOVE to learn more about your favorite hot sauces down in the comments pretty please!
“Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy” - LOLZ. The three products being recalled “from the Samyang instant ramen line – Buldak 3x Spicy & Hot Chicken, 2x Spicy & Hot Chicken, and Hot Chicken Stew. Denmark claims that “the capsaicin levels in them could poison consumers”. Despite being exported worldwide, this is the first recall situation for the Samyang company. I gotta say, I kinda get it because 1) My European friends can barely tolerate an extra pinch of black pepper let alone proper spice 2) I like me some spice but this Buldak ramen can be quite unpleasant if you don’t know what you signed up for. I feel like this bit of press can only reaffirm the brand’s notoriety and popularity though.
Now piggy-backing off of low thresholds for spice, I’ll suggest you give
’s “A Brief History of Mild Salsa” a read. Mack talks a bit about the travesty that was The Great British Bake-Off’s “Mexican Week” (which, I haven’t watched but can only imagine the horrors that were bound to happen) pivoting into how UK markets have an extra mild version of Old El Paso products *giggles*. I mean I’m torn, you’d think a country that’s colonized so many lands with incredible spices and is practically more known for Indian food than its own cuisine (whatever that means), should be a little more prepared to handle spice. Then again, if you don’t care for Indian or even other foods that prize spices and flavor and only enjoy English cuisine (lol), perhaps it makes a ton of sense. (no shade?!) Anyways give it a read, it’s quite interesting and Mack also goes into the American fascination of hot foods and our relationship with it.Annnnd if you’re feeling nerdy and wanna maybe learn some “Flamin’ Hot Facts About Spicy Foods” well, here ya go!
Lastly, National Hot Sauce Day in the US is January 22nd - the more you know! This bit of news was more so that I could insert this image by photographer Maurizio Di Iorio (another favorite!) for your viewing pleasure.
À La Carte
with special guest curation by of
Ok y’all, we’re trying something new with this section - I’m collaging the product images to save you some scrolling time. I know this newsletter’s long enough as it is. Please please let me know in the poll below if you prefer this over the previous format! And thanks to Nichole for the suggestion, I know you’re reading this and ILY!
Hand Blown Glass Decanter/Carafe and Glasses with Chili Peppers
Limoges Box - Small Red Hot Chili Pepper (or without the writing)
Vintage Basket Handmade Chili Pepper Wood Basket - Collapsible
Swatch Vintage POP Alfred Hofkunst Red Chili Pepper Limited Edition Novelty Watch
And to finish off, here’s just a couple more product selects that have been on my radar!
Stuzzi Hot Sauce - “Made in Italy. Loved by Wolves.” Idk sounds pretty sexy if you ask me. Also, packaging is impeccable. If I were to start carrying around hot sauce in my purse, this would be the one. I haven’t tried it just yet but believe me, it’s on my to-order list for this summer as it currently only ships to the US.
Scoville by Obvious Perfumes - I’ve been meaning to go and smell this at Printemps Department Store in Paris but just have NOT managed to get over there yet. You bet I’m intrigued by a chili pepper perfume though.
TOP NOTES: Red chili pepper, Sichuan pepper Essence, Black pepper Essence
HEART NOTES: Piri-Piri Amour Essence
BASE NOTES: Woody notes, Vanilla, Musk
Fiero Tequila claims to be “the spiciest tequila in the U.S.”. Their Habanero flavor is supposedly between 100,000-350,000 Scoville Heat Units. . . I’m really curious but considering I’m prone to having my tequila shots come back up, I don’t know if I could live through the double burn.
(Not Just) Desserts
FILM-ings - Flamin’ Hot (2023) - Directed by Eva Longoria, this movie tells the story of Richard Montañez, the creator of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Is it award-worthy? No. Is it heart-warming and potentially tear-jerking depending on how sensitive and burnt-out feeling you are at the moment? Yes. Is it 100% true? Probs not but what movie doesn’t take a couple of liberties? Point is, if you're kinda curious about the origins of this popular snack, it’s worth checking out. I LIKE IT.
RESTAURANT-ings: Bisque Bistro is now open in Lisbon, Portugal. With creative direction headed by CENTÁ, your eyes are most certainly in for a feast. Dying to visit and try it for myself but as I don’t have any trips planned for the near future, I’m counting on friends and fellow cake eaters to report back so be sure to add it to your list!
FOOD-ings - Russ & Daughters x Morgenstern’s have collaborated to conceive 3 ice cream creations just in time for summer. I really can’t handle NY summers but this is definitely a good start to convincing me otherwise.
Digestif
xoxo
My next issue is already cooking but in the meantime, please don’t hesitate to share this page with anyone you think might like this sort of content. After all, my newsletter can only feed its subscribers if they’re hungry. :)
And lastly, your feedback also means the world! Please feel free to comment below, or email me at thecakewalk@substack.com. xoxo
those ebay selects!!! <3
1. Never knew I needed a popcorn necklace.
2. Cholula's Green Pepper hot sauce is where it's at. Might have spilled while reading this lolz
3. https://camillecolette-studio.com/products/le-collier-piments?variant=40081362092125
<3